Gabriel Spera's "My Ex- Husband" tells the story of a woman and her conflicted emotions towards her ex-husband, as she describes him to a new potential lover. Through her detailed monologue, the reader finds contradiction in the speaker's emotion, revealing the poem's paradox, as she is both disgusted by and infatuated with her ex-husband. By the poem's end, the speaker's clear inability to let go of her former relationship resolves the paradox through the author's various uses of diction and irony. This resolution reveals to the reader that this woman, who claims to be over her ex-husband, is still actually very emotionally and mentally attached to the man who may or may not have cheated on her.
The poem obviously begins with the title: "My Ex-Husband". This provides initial ambiguities and tensions as the reader expects to read about the speaker's former lover, and literally, we do. But, with her description, we ironically learn more about her character and personality than we do of his. The speaker begins her bitter rant by referring the listener to her "ex-husband pictured on the shelf, smiling as if in love." The phrase "as if in love" implies that her husband had not actually loved her, strengthening the ambiguities introduced with the title. This tension is later resolved as she reveals her husband's "affairs". Later in the poem the she complains of her husband's flirtatious tendencies: "but flirted somehow a bit too ardently, too blatantly, as if, if someone ever noticed, no one cared how slobbishly he carried on affairs." The author's word choice in this phrase also adds to the building tension in the poem. The word "affairs" holds a connotative meaning, as the speaker is subtly referring to how her ex-husband cheated. She continues, questioning, "who'd lower herself to put up with shit like that? " This sentence is incredibly ironic as she did exactly that. She put up with, and is still in love with the man who she thinks cheated on her. Towards the end of her description, she adds that she would never be "on the short end of the stick," claiming to "never ever get stuck." But, this woman who claims to never get stuck, is still figuratively very stuck to her ex-husband. Although she and her husband are literally divorced and physically not together, the speaker is still attached to him. Through the author's uses of diction and irony, it is clear that this woman is both simultaneously fed up with and obsessed with her ex, forcing the reader into the resolution that the speaker is still unable to let go of her marriage and ex-husband.
I didn't notice the contradiction in her "never ever get stuck" phrase until I read your post. It's very ironic of her to be choosing these words while she's talking about her ex who she is still, obviously, stuck on.
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ReplyDeleteI really liked how you started from the title of the poem and made your way throughout it well-explaining the choice of words or phrases that were used. This really helped me analysis the poem as a whole one thing lead to the other. It made it easier to understand the paradox of the poem. Good job.
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